Hey, lama gak nulis. Setahun lebih gue gak nulis. Seperti gue udah mengingkari janji yang pernah gue buat disini, disalah satu postingan diblog ini. Memang gue akui, gue seperti kehilangan ide dan imajinasi untuk menulis. Seolah mereka udah pergi dari kepala gue dan enggan untuk kembali.
Setahun terakhir, sepanjang 2015 itu banyak banget yang gue alami dan semuanya berharga. Dan gue menganggap bahwa 2015 itu adalah kawah candradimuka. 2015 menempa gue untuk jadi seorang manusia. Manusia yang jauh lebih baik. I have been saw everything at everywhere, and also i've learned something new that i had never learned before, something that i never thought to learned. I feel something that more valueable than a diamond even a gold. I feel so life. And its proving that i am a human. Its so painful, yes of course. I feel pain, deep inside. I'm hurt, bleeding but there is no blood came out from my body. Deep inside, i sank. I've been drowned. Feels like i just can't hold my breath for more than a minute. Feels like i'm losing my focus, my mind. I can't thinking clearly. I can't see, everything is vague for me. I feel so confuse, even i think i don't know who i am. Who am i? I'm always repeats this question in my head. I don't have any idea. Half of me feel sad, disappointed, frustrated, crestfallen. And the other one, like give me a positive energy. Triggering me to get up, stand up and fight for my believe. Yes, i'm in the middle of conflict inside of me. And thanks God, i can through it. I know it's not my first time for having a conflict inside of me, but believe me, it was the hardest one than many conflicts i've been through.
Honestly, i've got an influence. The situation that i've never faced to. What is it? I was in the battlefield. Yemen. I was in Yemen, on March 2015. What i saw it, those things has teached me a lot about life, about everything. That is why i feel like losing my focus, my mind, i feel like drowned, i can't hold my breath for much longer, feel so confuse, everyhing is look vague, feel pain, feel hurt, feel sad, feel disppointed, feel frustrated, can't think. But i know one thing, God is working in me. Everything that ever happened to me, everything that i've been through is still nothing if i compare it to them. I've been there for two months. And when i arrived, i felt that i changed. I dont want to take any bullshit anymore. I will going through because i'm a challenger, i'm a fighter. I'll fight for what i believe, for my dream, for my future. I want to achieve my dream and build my very bright future.
That is why i never write in this blog again, since then, i need to stay focus. I'm trying to made a good preparation to achieving my dream, my goal, my future.
I really am so sorry because i have abbandoned you, my blog, for a year.
Now i will not make any promises, but if i have a time, i'll visit and maybe will write something at you.
February, 29th 2015
The Hipo
Keliatannya kayak gak relevan ya antara paragrap 2 dan 3. Karena jujur saja, memang gue sendiri juga bingung gimana nulisnya, biar pas. Biar sesuai dengan yang gue alami. Sebetulnya gak cuma dari Yaman aja, masih banyak yang lain. Tapi, entahlah, gue pilih menulis tentang pengalaman gue di Yaman dan menganggapnya sebagai sebuah pengalaman yang bisa mewakili semua pengalaman yang sudah gue lalui dan lewati sepanjang 2015 lalu.
Dan, ok, terima kasih banyak sudah bersedia membaca blog yang kurang penting ini.
Sampai jumpa lagi, kapan - kapan :D
The Hipo
